Behind the Pretty Picture
by Yaoi flame
Summary: At the first sight everything looks so perfect in Joey's life. But if you look closer, you'll see that the pretty picture isn't pretty at all. Find out why Joey decided to run away from his life...
1. My family

**AN: Puppyshipping was something long forgotten for me, but the inspiration hit my head hard this time so I decided to write another fic. **

**I hope you'll guys like it and I ask you to review. I hope the puppyshippers would love this. :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but this story.**

**Prologue**

My name is Joseph Wheeler. I'm nineteen years old. You may think I sound like I'm in some group therapy or something. And you wouldn't be very far from the truth if you think so.

I'm in a psychiatric hospital, lying on my bed, thinking of nothing particular.

I just let the thoughts go somewhere, anywhere, but away from the life I left out there.

I decided to escape here, away from the people that might hurt me in any way.

I'm fed up with people with fake smiles and fake promises, and people that claim to love me, yet they are ready to step on it all in order to have a short living satisfaction.

I don't want to forgive.

I just want to forget.

For I was ready to do everything to people I love, whatever they wanted me to do.

I was always there.

And they weren't.

It's a simple mathematics.

You may think what I am doing here when all of us have similar issues. But have you ever considered other aspects of my life?

--

They send me letters. My friends, my so called family, all of them. Even _he _was sending letters before he finally gave up.

You see, I was the only one to give in, to give my heart and my time and my patience.

I was the one to give everything, to risk everything.

It was all for nothing.

My heart was wasted.

But if I start talking now, if I start opening my heart to you, would that mean that I'd have to think about the things that I was desperately trying to leave behind?

Or would it be easier for me to confess once more to someone who would listen to my every word?

I confessed to my shrink first.

And he was telling me those stupid advices he had learned from the book. I could recognize every definition from those books in his words, in his gesticulation, even in the blink of his eye.

He was faking, like all the others. He left his soul outside there doors, leaving me in dark, cold reality.

And I still remember those moments I used to be happy.

I cannot mourn over them if I want to forget.

--

But for you, I can make an exception. I will tell you my story. I will tell you, and you decide whether my place is here or not.

**Chapter 1: My family**

At the first sight, all of you might think that we were a regular family. What's better than mommy and daddy and two wonderful children?

To make it even better, the first child was male. He could take care of his little sister. He could protect her. He could be pride and the young hope of the Wheeler family.

And that was nice. It was the best family representation.

But behind every picture, there is a story. And this story will show you how the picture is ugly, in fact.

My father was a very beautiful man, but he was kinda clumsy, he was kinda lazy. He was kinda misfortunate.

And one day he got bored of getting fired, of going home, of listening to his children's cries and laughs and footsteps.

He got bored of his wife's vagina and was desperately trying to find a better replacement.

Women would use hi, would rob him after sex and then disappear. But still, according to my father, they were better than my mother's vagina.

My mother was woman of seriousness. Her task was to take care of all of us. She was desperately trying to accomplish everything. She had to be perfect in her role of mother and housewife. She had to be satisfying in bed. She had to wash the dishes and clean the dust and do all other chores, make lunch and look flawless at the same time.

Any normal person knew that even Terminator couldn't accomplish such thing.

But my father had a different opinion.

Let me tell you something about a daily routine of ours.

My father gets back from work, all grumpy and tired of doing nothing. My mother rushes to take his coat of and his shoes off. And then she offers him beer to drink in the meantime. She then rushes to set the table.

After we're done with our lunch, she has to clean up the table, to do all other chores before she begins to make dinner.

If I wasn't that little, if I just understood, I would have helped her.

After the dinner, she must put us in bed and then clean the mess we had left after we left the dining table. And then, if she has enough energy to take shower, she'd take shower.

When she lies down, all tired, my father wants something that all the men want.

And she's just too tired.

And once, when I was passing by, in order to go to bathroom, I heard him say: "Don't get mad, but if you can't give me what I want, there is a plenty of women that can. Don't say later I didn't warn you."

I was old enough then to get infuriated by his statement, to understand somewhat that the hell was beginning.

--

One day, he got fired. The other day he got drunk. The third day he brought a whore. And the fourth day the whore was living with us and my mother had to do all the things she used to do before. Except she had to support one extra member.

--

All I could see was my sister's tars. All I could hear was their voices, their arguments and all I could run into were flying objects.

All I could smell was the smell of alcohol.

My mother was crying as well, and I was unable to help her.

But I promised myself one thing and that was that I would protect my sister no matter what.

And I intended to keep that promise.

--

Once when I was old enough, I stepped before my father in order to save my mother from his fist and I got a black eye.

I was protecting her and she was looking at me with those sad eyes, showing her gratefulness by leaving in a short period later.

She took the only thing that was making me happy. She separated us and left me behind.

I was the rock around her neck. And she was a traitor to me.

--

For years I was trying to kill my emotions, to stop feeling. I knew that my emotions were my weakness.

I had no one to live for. I joined Hirutani. I knew it was bad thing to do, but that was my only escape from reality.

With him, I didn't care how dangerous it was. I was a street punk, and a good one. I had reputation I gained respect.

I was loyal to Hirutani and he definitely knew how to reward me.

He killed my abusive father, telling me that I wouldn't have to hide bruises, lying that I earned them from the gang's enemies.

He seemed to understand what I was going through. It seemed he knew my pain.

And for a tiny little moment, I was feeling safe, under his roof.

But the truth was always uglier than the picture.

Oh, yes. It was only the beginning.

--

AN:


	2. My Lovers

**Behind the pretty picture**

**Chapter 2: My lovers**

I never thought about love. I never thought about principles. As the member of Hirutani's gang, I could have any female creature I wanted. And Hirutani never hesitated to help me when it came to that.

It was all sex, their beautiful tanned bodies, their long hairs, and legs, and beautiful eyes of a common hooker.

They were all sluts and I never cared for any of them.

With every morning, there was somebody else on the pillow next to mine. I would throw her out every time I wake up. None of the girls I slept with woke up pleasantly after the night of hot sex.

I was addicted to it. And I was the best at it.

---

It looked all nice, I could be seen with the beautiful creatures, with silicones instead of real flesh, with hairs dyed in blonde, with tanned skins that the sun never saw…They were all artificial, like a living dolls and the picture of us was perfect. For I was beautiful by nature and they by plastic surgeons. But I never knew what love was. I never cared to learn.

I thought that Hirutani was something like me. I thought that _I_ was like him. But I guess I was wrong, when I crossed the line that I thought it wasn't line at all.

**Flashback**

"You stupid bitch! It wasn't enough for you, so you had to sit on his cock as well!"

He slapped Miho and she fell to her knees.

"Hirutani, please…"

"It could be anybody else, but Joey was like my own son! You stinkin' slut! I'm gonna teach you a lesson!"

I heard a gunshot, but before I could process what that was, Miho was already dead.

She fucked with me the night before. I thought that Hirutani didn't love her. I thought that he didn't love me. It seemed that Hirutani was emotionless.

But I guess I was wrong.

He loved that slut, Miho. He loved that skillful Miho that was riding in my lap all the previous night. I felt no remorse, because I thought that Hirutani didn't care. Hirutani never cared when it came to women.

But Miho was something different. Hirutani was hiding that fact. And she had to pay for it.

He loved me in a fatherly way. I never knew that.

But after that, the only thing that remained before my eyes was her lifeless body.

I was terrified, for I never saw a corpse before. I was terrified, because for the first time in my life, I thought about my sister and the things she was doing far, far away from me.

Maybe she came across somebody like Hirutani and I. And I was scared for her life. I was scared for my own. And I was so confused.

I couldn't help but see disappointment in Hirutani's teary eyes. He was crying.

He bowed his head and told me to leave and never come back.

I was running like Forest Gump for hours.

And then I stopped.

And that was it.

**End flashback**

I guess that God punished me because of my bad behavior towards girls and Miho's death.

Because some time later, I met him.

And he…was my greatest love of all.

And once again, the pretty picture became ugly.

---

TBC…


	3. My True Love

**Behind the Pretty Picture**

**Chapter 3: My True Love**

It was some time after Hirutani told me to run and never come back. It hurt like hell. I betrayed him and he was treating me like his own son. But that's the only rule in this world-there are no rules, there are no principles.

And the word _love _is something totally imaginary because it all ends with betrayal.

So, after I ran away from Hirutani, I met my new fellowship. There was Yugi, the kid I used to bully, but in the end, he made me a better person. He made me who I am now.

There was Tea, the girl with friendship speeches. Her ideals of everlasting friendship, solid and beautiful, were something I never believed in. But somehow, we were the living example of her definition of friendship. Although she is boring, I love her in a friendly way.

There was Tristan, my second best bud in the whole world, the only one that set a foot into the flat I was living in, and he was the only one to know the truth about me.

He had been digging for the entire year and one day, he had just appeared in front of my door, telling me that he knew who I was.

He had had no right to do such thing; it was my privacy we'd been talking about. But still, he did it because, and I quote him: "I saw the endless sorrow in your eyes and I knew that something's wrong with you."

He's perceptive and I love him for that. He's so perceptive that he's the boyfriend of my beautiful baby sis for about three years now and they are happy together. Tristan is a living example for a man whose cock never replaces his brain. Such a rarity.

He's her guardian angel and I trust him a lot, but not totally. He knows if he hurts her in any way, I'll get out of hospital and kill him with my bare hands.

And Yami, of course, the spirit from the Yugi's puzzle… But that's a totally different story and you wouldn't believe me if I told you. The point is he existed and you'd better believe me.

So, that was my little group of friends who helped me out of my dark little realm. I wasn't a criminal anymore.

And there was Kaiba Seto, my rival. We were total opposites, in constant conflict. We used to argue all the time, exchanging insults, hating each other to death….

…until the day I wanted to save Mai so desperately and I was so eager about it. I wanted to save her from those brainwashers, and I was fighting with one of them, Valon.

I was so eager, that I could have given my life in exchange for hares. And just then, I saw the glimpse of his eyes, and some strange sparkle within it. He became even colder than before.

---

Kaiba Seto was a sex symbol in Domino and wider, being the youngest millionaire, so successful, tall, and handsome. The depth of his cerulean eyes was something incredible. They looked like two abysses. It seemed that if you fall into them, you're gonna fall forever. That's what I thought then, and it happened to me. I fell. And I'm still falling.

His brown hair was always combed perfectly, covering the mirrors of the soul, deep and blue. His skin was something I should have never thought about, of its smoothness and paleness, its scent, and heat. I used to be straight. But when I first saw Kaiba, it turned out I was gay.

Compared to him, I was nothing.

He was eccentric when it came to fashion, but it all was so good on him. He was wearing extremely tight things, and all you could think about is that slim, snake-like, body. You had to worship it.

Kaiba was smart, running the entire corporation. Everything was running smoothly. Kaiba was the best chess player. He had rich vocabulary and the best remarks I've ever heard. He had amazing points of view.

Kaiba was struggling with life difficulties all the time and he was desperate to win every battle. He had to support his little brother.

Kaiba was addicted to success. Everything had to be flawless, just like he himself was flawless. This includes his business and sexual partners as well.

He's still like that, I suppose. At least, it seems so, judging by the letters he used to send me.

He stopped sending letters.

---

God had chosen to punish me by making me fall in love with him.

It happened all of a sudden, when I saw him carrying Alister out of the craft in bridal style. I knew that there was a big sexual tension between the two.

Something stabbed me through my chest. And I knew that I've never felt like that before. So it must have been the terrible thing in the universe--a crush.

And it really was.

And I knew from the beginning. I knew that the sorrow would come to grip me and drive me insane.

---

I can remember our first kiss and how I felt thrilled about it. I was so happy then.

But all the magic disappeared after a couple of months, when I realized that he wasn't proud of me anymore. He was rather ashamed.

He stopped going out with me, he stopped socializing when I was around. All our gatherings…they ceased.

Like we had never met each other before. He was there for just an hour or less, making out with me or fucking me senseless, before he went to 'work' again, which meant god-knows-where.

But, on the other hand, maybe he was really going to work. I've never proved otherwise.

He never stated he loved me, but I knew he loved me. I just knew, from the look in his eyes back then, when I'd been saving Mai's life.

But nothing really could indicate his great love for me. The small gestures, it all ceased happening.

It was all emptiness, but I wasn't brave enough to leave him. I was addicted to him.

With or without him, my life was miserable.

Sometimes he would hold me tightly, as if he loved me and I would say him to stop because I knew he didn't care.

But he would hold me even tighter, to prove me I was wrong.

My heart ached with every his touch.

I was trapped. And the hell was just about to begin.

---

I couldn't stand his disdainful look. He was doing that to me all the time. He was telling me how useless I was. He was always proving me that he was better.

And I just couldn't leave him because every my _why_ had its _because_.

'That's just his personality. He doesn't know better. He loves me.' I was persuading myself all the damn time.

And his kisses were poisonous.

---

"Are you ashamed of me?" I asked.

"Why would you think something like that?" he said absentmindedly, while kissing my neck.

"Because we don't go out together anymore."

He had found some of his cousins that were abroad and hadn't known for his tragedy and Gozaburo saga, but as soon as they had found out, they had contacted him.

I still remember how hopeful his eyes were. He was so happy, yet the mask was too tight on his face and only people who knew him (Mokuba and I), could see what was underneath.

And we were happy as well.

I met all of them and they got to like me, just as I liked them.

But he stopped bringing me with him when he was visiting them.

When they ask why I don't come anymore, I just say: "It doesn't depend on me." and they know what I mean.

He was ashamed of me. And I didn't know why, since the social status had no meaning to him. His cousins were of average economical situation, just like I was. I was no lower than them. And I was always behaving politely.

But he was ashamed of me.

---

"Some friends have come to visit you." says the nurse. I stop writing this story I want to tell you.

"Let them in." I say, as I hide this confession under the mattress.

They come in. Their faces are so…sad?

I know it hurts them to see me like this, broken.

But I smile at them, in a lame attempt to reassure them.

"How are you?" Yugi asks.

"I'm just fine, thanks." I say, still smiling.

But the truth is that I'm broken.

It is not just love. It is everything else.

---

TBC…?


	4. Of Acting and Coldness

AN: I hope you'll like this. It's a little dark, but, would you believe me if I told you that I'm trying to make a happy end Puppyshipping out of this?

Well, enjoy and make sure to review! :)

**Behind the Pretty Picture**

**Chapter 4: Of Acting and Coldness**

"How are you? Oh, c'mon, sit, sit here." I point to my bed, "I'm so glad to see you all!"

Yugi, Tristan and Tea sit on my bed. I can see the reflection of their broken hearts in their eyes and it hurts me to see them like that.

I'm happy to have such friends, who care about me, but still, I want them to carry on their lives, to forget me, in order to be careless and happy as they used to be. I don't want to be selfish and drag them into this dark abyss.

I take a chair and sit before them and still smile, despite the snake in my chest that is biting me and poisoning me second after second.

"We're pretty well, Joey." Yugi forces a smile, "Nothing has changed."

"How are you, mate?" asks Tristan. I can still see his struggle to understand me the way I am, homosexual, messed up, utterly unhappy.

"I'm fine here, really. You have no idea how much this isolation helps me get through everything."

Only Tristan knows that _everything_ isn't just Kaiba Seto. It's everything else-it's Hirutani and my dead father, and my mother and sister, and everyone else. It's everything else. My personal chaos.

Isolation….

**Flashback**

When I couldn't take any longer, I started thinking of possible solutions for my psychological problem. I've built a fortress for myself, on the imaginary desert island and he knew that something was going on.

I was overwhelmed by sorrow and my past, my present and absence of future. There was no tomorrow for me, not like this, isolated and unloved, rejected from the ones I desperately loved.

It was the 105th time I called, and she didn't want to talk to me. She was only in another town and didn't even want to let me talk to my sister.

I went there and we argued a lot, so that she told me that I was an error and I had no rights to yell at her.

"I protected you from him!" I screamed. She was my mother. I would have died for her then.

Serenity was crying, trying to stop u s arguing.

Mother slapped me and I just shook my head.

I got back to Domino, and I knew that it was the last drop. The final result of it all was my utter disappointment in all the people I loved and cared for.

"What's wrong _now_?!" Seto asked in annoyance. I didn't want to talk to him about that.

The least he could do was to save me from that by paying my stay here, in psychiatric institution. That was my only reasonable solution. To stop disappointing meant I had to isolate myself and drink some meds.

And, miraculously, he agreed.

**End Flashback**

"I like it here; I'm not insane, but away from problems."

"Running away isn't solution" Tea shakes her head. I see Tristan stabbing her with his look. She shuts her mouth.

"Well, it's our time to go." Yugi says with fake cheerfulness.

---

I make my bed and spread my body over it, hands under my head, wondering what the hell this life means.

I feel like I'm dead, but a heart within me is still beating and I know that I'm sentenced on sorrow for a very long time.

If only they didn't come to wake my memories…The times I was happy with them and the times they were my strength.

I didn't want to destroy them and I couldn't pretend anymore that everything was fine. I had the best intentions coming here, to this hospital. But that hurt them, instead. They couldn't understand _why_, all of a sudden, for I was _so happy_. If only they knew…

I wasn't like this all the time, even thought I had terrible past. When Yugi created the new me, I used to be cheerful and normal like all the others of our age. There were times I would fall into the depression, but it was always short-living, and as soon as I recovered, I would be the same old one, Joseph Wheeler that everyone knew.

I fell to the very bottom when I started smiling when I didn't feel like, not out of heart anymore. I became an actor. A really good one.

---

I'm writing this confession, notebook in my lap. I want to tell you everything, what is hiding behind my pretty, cheerful face.

It is only darkness I never wanted. I just wanted my spot under this sun.

**Flashback**

He would listen to my problems at first. He would advise me.

But then, he stopped doing that. He stopped even listening.

He had better things to do than to put up with mutt and its problems.

And the 'I love you' that he had never said, sounded so fake and unreal.

He was a traitor.

**End Flashback**

A nurse pops in her head.

I look at her, placing my notebook into the drawer.

"Someone has come to see you." she says and disappears.

Why the temperature suddenly fell in this room? Outside, the sun is warm and it is beautiful. But I can't go outside…

---

TBC…?


	5. The Inheritance

AN: There you go. I hope you'll enjoy it! Please make sure to review.

---

**Behind the Pretty Picture**

**Chapter 5: The Inheritance**

He enters, all graceful and beautiful as I remember him. It's been almost a year since I got here. He never came. He was only sending letters I never wanted to read. I knew what could be in them, something like: "I don't understand you at all. Stop being a freak and come home."

Home? What is that? I never opened any of his letters. I didn't want to think about my past. But the past never wanted to leave me alone.

He sits on my bed and we don't exchange a word. I just stare through the window, too shocked to say anything. I wanted to end this, but he is here now and drama was inevitable.

I always hated dramas, for I never knew what the purpose of them was. I never wanted to find out. I never wanted to think about purpose of anything, but during my time with Seto, I became kind of a philosopher. I hated that.

I just wanted to erase my memories, but they kept coming to me through my dreams, through his unopened letters, and visits of my friends. I prayed for them to leave me alone. But, somehow, God never heard my prayers.

He clears his throat. I know he wants to say something of big importance, for I know that he always clears his throat when he wants to say something historic.

"I'm getting married this month. I just wanted to tell you." he says. He's always been a fucking sadist.

There are no words with which I can describe the feeling and to avoid the cliché thing. It feels awful, he's come only to tell me that, to hurt me even more, like we've never been together, like nothing existed.

Such an irony, he is the one to pay my stay here, in this mental institution, my desert island I cherish so much.

I just smirk, for my facial muscles refuse to turn into a smile. It's some kind of atrophy, I suppose. The whole body is in shock and you can do nothing about it. Something clenches in my stomach, something that does not let me think, breathe, or do anything.

I just blink and turn to look at him, desperately trying to hide sadness I feel with every fiber of my body,

It is too much to bear.

"That is just fine, Seto." I say.

A few days ago I learned that Hirutani died and left me inheritance. I never wanted it. Hirutani, the man I betrayed, is dead now, and I don't want anything that would remind me of him. It reminds me of how bad person I was and how much the man who saved me suffered from my deeds. "But I don't watch television, so I don't know who the lucky lady is." I say, as if nothing happened, as if everything is so natural.

"I see, "he says, "You want to be cut off everything." he says, "But I would like you to leave your fortress and come to my wedding."

To come to his wedding?! That is extra reason for me to _stay _here.

"I just want to be forgotten. Why can't you all leave me alone?" I say, trying not to show how weak I am. "You know nothing about me so you'd better keep your mouth shut." I added.

Seto doesn't need to know that I will leave the fortress, in order to see what Hirutani left me.

Seto bows his head and lies on my bed, looking at me in silence.

"Come lie next to me." he says a second later, with awkwardly weak, pleading voice.

I do what he wants me to do and he hugs me from behind, telling me to face him. I do so. He looks into my eyes, whispering something un-Seto-like, of how my eyes are beautiful and how he admires me.

He lies and I know that. I know that his false affection is created just to hurt me more.

He wants to kiss me and I want him to, oh, how desperately. But I can't, not after what happened.

"You should better leave." I say and he looks at me in confusion. He's mad already, unused to rejection.

He stands up, looking at me from above.

"If that's what you want, Joseph." he says and leaves. All I wanted is to be cut off, but the past kept coming to me…

---

---

---

I was quite surprised to see that Hirutani left me one big mansion, so beautiful and in Seto's neighborhood. I couldn't accept that…that masterpiece of architecture, all white with beautiful green gardens, fifteen bedrooms in Japanese style. But I had to accept it, for it was the least I could do in order to redeem for my deeds.

It seems that he loved that slut, Miho, very much. I just couldn't piss on that. I couldn't piss on what he did for me. So the mansion is all mine now. Maybe it is time to leave the fortress. I could built the new one, between the four walls of my new, enormous bedroom.

I realize now that escapade isn't solution. Hirutani could have stayed in the past, poisoned by it, but he moved on, forgave me, and gave me the roof above my head. He remained being my father even after his death. That's good enough reason to go and fight with the world. It would be difficult in the beginning…I might fail…but I will never know for certain if I don't try.

As come back from my new home, to check out of the hospital, I buy the newspapers and I see their picture-Seto and Ishizu Ishtar, all happy and smiling. But I know that there is something wrong with the picture. Seto never smiles. Ishizu never smiles.

But now, when I have a new home, I can observe them thoroughly, without Seto knowing. I'm gonna make his life a living hell.

---

TBC…?


	6. Hirutani's Friend

**Behind the Pretty Picture**

**Chapter 6: Hirutani's Friend**

They hold hands-something that we never did.

They smile at each other.

They go to parties and are seen by all the mankind.

People worship them.

Ishizu has all the things with Seto that I never had with him. Or at least it appears that she has everything with him.

Sometimes I catch myself thinking how it would be nice to be in his embrace again, away from my mother, from my sister, dead father, and the leftovers of his tyranny. In his embrace I was able to forget all the bad things…and the good ones.

I neglected my friends because of Seto. Not because he hated them, but because I was devoted only to him, and they would be the distraction. Oh, how I regret now! But they forgave me. They were there, even though they don't have a clue why I was neglecting them, why I was at the psychiatric hospital, why I never mentioned my father, etc.

They never asked, and I'm grateful.

Nobody knew, but Tristan did. He was the number one person I wanted to forget me.

I paid a lot of money to maintain the impression I was still at the hospital, but to forbid to anybody to come see me, including Seto himself. That's the good thing. Hirutani gave me my freedom. He gave me the opportunity to run away from my violated fortress and to build the new one here, in the new manor.

The manor of Joseph Wheeler…

How powerful that sounds!

But something is very strange here…It's been a week since I moved in here. The walls are so cold, despite how the room is warm. As if it rejects me, the whole house, together with furniture, paintings, sheets…

I just want to be happy again…

But I can see them from my fortress, _them_, being all lovey-dovey. It is so unlike Seto that it makes me sick!

What does she have that I don't? Seto _is_ gay and always will be. I know. I simply know. But does she know?

Sometimes I wonder…do they sleep together?

If so, how is it like? Is she any better than me? Can she be?

Sometimes I feel the heat of jealousy running through me, making my cheeks red.

I am marked by his hate. He hates me. He never loved me. Nobody ever loved me…I owe everything to my friends and Hirutani. They are the only who loved me.

I can't stand the fact that I'm losing my identity-through my friends, through his dead eyes, that loved me like I was his only child.

I beg them to forget me, silently, in my dreams; to close their eyes and shoo me away from their memories; they're too clean and innocent to be filled with filth such as myself.

I want them to erase me, as if they were dead, as if they were Hirutani.

To love me, it means to suffer. It means unbearable pain.

To hate me, it's bliss.

Just look at Seto.

**Flashback**

"Spread your legs a bit more" he whispered in my ear, penetrating me. I was sweaty and exhausted, but he wanted more, and I was more than happy to satisfy him for the third time. It meant a lot to me, to express how much I want him, how much he's addictive. I wanted to show him how fuckable I am. I wanted him to want me. I wanted to belong to him, even if it meant to be his only in bed. Just like those girls I fucked. I was no better than them, when it came to Seto. "Yeah, just like that, Joseph…" he moaned.

But I wanted to be truly his. I don't know why he never loved me.

"Yeah…" he moaned again in the end, releasing himself into me, filling me with his warmth. His platinum warmth I cherished like nectar of life was dripping out of my anus.

Seto kissed my temple, saying that we were whole again, just like every other time we made love.

It had been long ago since we were the old Seto and Joey, who had been talking for hours. He was still ashamed of me. He wanted me only in his bed.

**End Flashback**

I'm sitting by the window, which was looking straight into their green gardens. Those were beautiful, wide, well-shaped, fresh…Seto and I used to walk through them. They were our sweet fortress of happiness back then. I still don't know what made him be an asshole again.

I remember all good times with him. The garden was protecting us from the public eye. Only Tristan and Seto's cousins knew. It was a small paradise.

I close my eyes to wipe the images. I can see them walk though the fortress of happiness, hand in hand, as if they never hated each other. It reminds me of Seto and I.

I hate this place. It gives me shivers. The house hates me and I know it. It hates me for what I did to Hirutani. It was just a fuck, and he forgave me, but still, the scar remains.

Everything goes against me.

---

Together with this manor, I inherited something else from Hirutani. I inherited his debts and enemies.

Teru, one of them, is hitting on me. He says he will forgive me everything if I become his slut. I knew he was gay, but I never knew that I would be this close to him. Not after Hirutani's death.

But the fate, as always, has other plans for me.

I could pay the half of the debt with the money Hirutani left me. But I can't. I need to maintain the false impression I'm still there, at the hospital.

The only option that remains is to be with Teru. He is handsome. I could try and sleep with him…I guess…

It appears that I will never be able to rebuild my fortress…It appears that the world finally dragged me from my peace.

For the first time in my life, I was praying for loneliness, and for the first time, it ran away from me as if I'm plague. What an irony!

He comes and sits behind me, looking at the gardens of Kaiba household.

"You really do like those gardens" he says.

"They're nice, I guess" I sigh. "Teru…" I look at him "You must not acknowledge my presence to anyone. Especially not Kaiba"

I can feel his grin on my neck.

"Oh, don't you worry, puppy" he says "You will never step into those gardens, nor I would let you be with him again. You are all mine now." he bites my neck gently.

My eyes widen.

"H-How did you know for t-that?" I stutter.

"Teru knows everything. " he says. "But if you want the debt to be forgotten, I suggest you to be faithful to me."

'Piece of cake'

"Whatever you say…" I turn and look at him. I place my lips on his in a gentle kiss.

"Tonight, I want it rough" I add.

Not a bad actor, neh?


	7. Of Puppies, Lambs, and Humming

**AN:** The inspiration hit me all of a sudden, so there you go, I updated fast this time!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Great Disappointment" by AFI

**Behind the Pretty Picture**

**Chapter 7: Of Puppies, Lambs, and Humming**

I light the cigarette, inhaling deeply, and then exhale the large amount of smoke. It encircles me. I sit by the window, which looks at Seto's gardens, completely naked. It's almost dawn. I couldn't sleep the entire night, having terrible flashbacks of my relationship with Seto. I guess I'll never recover from that.

Teru sits behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder. He is rather nice to me, for someone who came to cash my debt. His long hair tickles my shoulder and neck.

Teru is about 30 years old, with long, raven black hair, eye color of a fading blue, with dark eyelashes, thin eyebrows, and hollow cheeks. He is slightly taller than me, but well-built. He looks like a vampire of a sort, when you think better. And he is surprisingly tender in bed. But he can also be fast, if you ask him to.

He has manners of high class gentleman, for he is an aristocrat. But he is a tycoon as well. And he is very powerful. He is ruthless toward ones who disrespect him, who try to destroy him, etc.

I take another drag.

"Cannot sleep?" he whispers into my ear.

"Yeah." I answer.

"Maybe you should stop looking through that window. It awakens your déjà-vu, whatever it was." he kisses my shoulder. "That man must have been pretty bad to you, neh?"

"As if you're not informed." I snort. "Teru knows everything right?" I ask sarcastically.

He shifts his chin on my shoulder, pressing his lips to my ear.

"I know, I know…And I have a right song for you." he whispers, starting to hum.

"_I can remember a place I used to go.  
Chrysanthemums of white,  
They seemed so beautiful.  
I can remember, I searched for the amaranth  
I'd shut my eyes, to see."_

I close my eyes. I know the song. And it tells everything about me. It hurts to listen, but maybe that is his way to tell me he knows…

"_Oh, how I smiled then,  
So near the cherished ones.  
I knew they would appear,  
Saw not a single one.  
Oh, how I smiled then, waiting so patiently."_

Yeah…I start dozing off, somewhere far in past.

And it seemed so bright, everything around me. I was happy and I was laughing and believing people.

"_I'd make a wish and bleed."_

But it was only a fake shine. They were liars. They were all liars.

"_While I waited, I was wasting away.  
While I waited, I was wasting away."_

I was waiting for them to take me with them, or come back…

I was waiting for him, all those endless nights, to come back from wherever he was. But he never kept his promise and never came.

"_I can remember, dreamt them so vividly.  
Soft creatures draped in white,  
Light kisses gracing me."_

Blindfolded by trust in people, I was waiting. They loved me in another realm, for I knew that in reality, I was a burden to them.

I was wasting away my youth…

I was a child, but I was feeling so old…

I was a teenager, and I was feeling so fuckin' old…

Teru's words are echoing in my head, verse by verse, bringing back bitter memories of the green gardens, game shop, and dusty apartment floor.

"_I can remember when I first realized  
Dreams were the only place to see them."_

I believed in her promises that she would make us family again…

And I was waiting for him, in his shadow, to show me some respect. But I guess I was just a dog…

I learned that their words were worthless…For everything was too good to be real or to last long.

"_While I waited, I was wasting away.  
While I waited, I was wasting away.  
While I waited, I was wasting away.  
Hope was wasting away.  
Faith was wasting away.  
I was wasting away."_

How could I say to you that I wasn't happy with you? How could I, when you told me you were happy with me, and the time went by so rapidly for you, cuz it was so nice to be with me.

But I was your living doormat, always. I was the one who wasted his life on waiting for you, on licking your boots, and swallowing my pride. Just because you told me you were happy, and I knew how hard it was for you to say anything that sounds sentimental.

What was I doing when I was a street punk? What I was doing with you, when I became a well-behaving citizen?

My entire youth went down the sink. Not even the fortress was enough to protect me from you and life.

I'm nineteen now, but I feel so old, so wasted, so, so...

Teru kisses my temple, and then continues to hum. I don't know what the matter with him is, why he is torturing me like this. Humming into somebody's ear really sounds foolish.

_"Never, never wanted this.  
Always wanted to believe.  
Never, never wanted this.  
How could I have become_?"

"You know nothing about me, prick!" I hiss. "You know nothing of how much I suffered!"

But he carries on humming, holding me tighter, and my back against his strong chest. I came to like his warmth. Somehow, I feel secure...

"_Never, never wanted this.  
But from the start I'd been deceived.  
Never, never wanted this.  
How could I have become?"_

I grip his wrists, pressing him tighter, wanting to feel more of him, for now, when I recall all of this, I need him to stop me from falling into hopelessness. I don't know how to explain the feeling, but it is strong and rips me from the inside.

He was right. I NEVER wanted all of this. I never wanted for my father to be a drunken asshole, for my mum to leave me, for Hirutani incidents and his fatherly love, for Seto and I to hook up. He caused me lots and lots of pain. He's my recent tormentor.

It appears that I'm best at self-pitying, isn't it? But I am really too weak to move on. I was a murderer, a robber, and drug dealer. But now I'm a decent young man, but without future.

I never wanted such things. I never asked for them. I just wanted to have a boring life of an average teenager.

"_Inside a crumbling effigy.  
But you promised.  
So dies all innocence.  
But you promised me."_

How many promises were broken by so many people? I lost my faith in them. And Seto was no exception.

How one tough guy, such as myself, could all of a sudden be so tamed (well, Yugi and the co. really tamed me, I admit), so self-pitying, so pathetic?!

He stops humming. I find myself shaking like mad.

"Does the truth affect you so much?" he asks. "I always thought that you were strong. But I guess I was wrong." he stands up, looking for his clothes.

"Are you leaving?" I ask, my voice half a whisper. I was afraid to ask him that.

Even though I never wanted him nearby, the very thought that even this tycoon is sick of me (already), I feel more and more worthless. Is it so hard to accept me and respect me?

I realize I don't want him to leave.

"No, if you don't want me to." he says, and I feel much better. I Threw the finished cigarette through the window.

"I don't want you to." it's hard for me to admit.

He approaches me.

"You're such a lamb, Joey." he ruffles my hair affectionately. I stand up, looking at him. The light of a new day is playing with his features, and he looks like an anime fantasy, so surreal, so beautiful…

Why do I always have to represent an animal to any of my lovers?

"I never believed that such a wolf could turn into a lamb." he adds, caressing my cheek.

"I'm not an animal." I hiss and he realizes what I meant, since, as he puts it, Teru knows everything.

"You're a human, I know. Not a puppy, not a lamb. Just human." he says. In these several days of being his slut, he's learned how to deal with me. And I don't feel like a slut at all. I feel as if we are lovers of a sort.

"But you must stop reflecting on your past, and you must stop pitying yourself." he puts his hands on my shoulders. "I can help you up." he smiles.

It is 7a.m. already. A new day. But I return to bed anyways. He undresses and lies next to me.

"For a start, I'll make sure that all of Hirutani's pals never make any inconveniences to you."

But why is he trying so much to help me?

What if it's just a surface, the pretty picture? What if it's not as good as it looks?

I just close my eyes, enjoying the warmth of sunlight on my face. I'll think about these things later…

---

TBC…?


	8. Not so Innocent Puppy

**Behind the Pretty Picture**

**Chapter 8: Not so Innocent Puppy**

But was Seto really _that_ bad? I don't want you to get the wrong impression about him. Some people would say that Seto was a good and caring person. He's still making charity parties, and he donates the poor as much as he can. He's like all those actors, singers, and top models who want to look angelic. But there was a difference. Seto was doing that because he really cared. He never said something like that, but I simply knew. And he was kind to his baby bro, which is the extra plus.

Some people would say that Seto was a very bad person. That's mostly because he has that awful habit of sacking people. Still, if you take a better look, you couldn't really blame him. Yes, there were a lot of those ex-employees who had to support their families. But what could he do about it, when they were bad at their work? All he wanted was quality, and if they couldn't provide him that, then there was no need for them to stay in his corporation.

But, in our relationship, was Seto a bad or a good guy? Well, that is hard to answer. I know what I told you about him, but still, there are some bad things about me as well. I did something awful to him, something that I never admitted, and it passed like that, 'unnoticed'. But I knew he knew. Still, he did nothing about it.

Since Teru is out to buy us some food (I must not go out for the obvious reason), I have a little time to write in my notebook. I can continue my confession.

---

It happened a little after my suspicion that he was ashamed of me. Maybe I just wanted revenge. Maybe…

One day, I was fed up with everything. Who wouldn't be? He was treating me like living garbage. He was always late. He never kept promises. He was hiding me from his cousins, as if I did something stupid. As if I embarrassed him. But that was not the case at all. I was doing my best, and I succeeded in it. I was polite, I kept my mouth closed, did nothing, like a mannequin. When they asked a question, I answered, helped when they asked to help them something.

I was fed up with his behavior. He had some friends, despite the common belief that he had no friends, and he was always leaving me because of them, with that inevitable: "I'll call you", and never, actually called. He never wanted to take me out with them, despite the fact that they liked me and all. We didn't have to display as a couple, if that was bothering him. But no. Mister CEO and his gang of sophisticated dorks (I grew to hate them for dragging Seto from me), they always had to go clubbing and getting drunk.

All Seto had to say to that was: "What? Why are you getting mad about everything?", and started explaining how guys have to go out once in a while, yadda, yadda, yadda…

As if I wasn't a guy myself. So, one day, I wanted him to taste his own medicine. I found my address book, and called all the punks who used to be my pals. They, of course, didn't know I was gay and all.

And we went out, clubbing and drinking. Good old times…

I didn't want to be like a housewife to Seto. I, who once used to be a murderer, a dealer, and pimp for Hirutani…I used to be a tough guy…A wolf, who had turned into a lamb when the almighty CEO had nailed me.

And then-there she was, she looked like hookers I used to fuck. Of course, my pals wanted me to fuck her, but I couldn't. I didn't want to go that far. I was Seto's boyfriend and I had to draw a line somewhere. I loved him. I was faithful to him.

But then they started teasing me. You know, things like this: "Are you impotent?! Don't be a sissy!", and things like that.

I ended up fucking her brains out in the end. Seven times that night, believe it or not. Seven fucking times!

Of course I felt terrible afterwards. But then again, a question popped in my head. What if Seto did that same thing behind my back when he was clubbing?

I said goodbye to the scum and went home the next day. Seto had circles under his eyes. But he said nothing. Yet I knew that he must have read everything from my face.

Only then did I realize that I had about a hundred missed calls from him from last night.

The consoling fact was that he might have done something like this to me as well. But those were only lame assumptions.

---

Oh, here comes Teru! I place the notebook under my bed, and run downstairs to help him unpack what he bought.

He kisses me and smiles at me. But he sees my restless face expression.

"What is it this time?" he asks.

I tell him about that part of my past.

"Maybe he actually loved me" I conclude. Teru just stares at me in disbelief.

"Yup. Right. That's why he agreed to send you to the hospital and who got engaged behind your back."

"First of all, _I_ asked him to place me there. I wanted to be isolated from people who only make me suffer." Teru sighed. His hair is somehow out of place.

"I know." He runs his fingers through his hair. "You are about the only guy in the universe who thinks that much. Mostly guys don't give a damn." Although Teru is my lover now, it seems that it doesn't bother him to talk about my ex boyfriend.

"I know." I chuckle.

"It seems that there are so many unclear things about the whole situation. Why don't you talk to him?"

"NO!" I snap. "He doesn't know I'm here! I don't want him to know."

"Ok then." he just nods and heads to the living room. "I don't know how to help you, Joey."

"Ah, just leave the things the way they are." I say, cuddling next to him on the sofa. "Besides, I'm with you."

But that's a lie. Although he's nice to me, I don't love him. I have no affections. He just snorts. I know he knows. Just as Seto knew back then. I'm a bad liar.

---

I remember…some time after I had cheated on Seto, he gave me a rough sex to remember. I wasn't able to sit for days.

But I liked it as well. He threw me to the bed, capturing my lips fiercely, violently. I obeyed, opening my mouth so his tongue could explore the deepest he could. Seto's scent worked on me like the poison. I was his prey, lying there helplessly.

It smelled so sweet, on cinnamon, and that was enough for me to submit. He tore my clothes, as well as his, impatience in his movements. As much as I was excited, I was afraid of him as well. I could see his large member twitch. It was so unimaginably hard and looked so threatening. That moment, I just wanted to wrap my lips around it and suck it all the way, lick it, and play with it.

But Seto didn't let me. He had his own plans. He thrust into me, no stretching with fingers first, no lube, no preparation at all.

I screamed in agonizing pain, as I arched my back. He only smirked, and I saw something strange in his eyes-some sick excitement he was taking from all of this.

His creamy skin was smashing against mine with the appropriate sound, and that was driving both of us insane. I was feeling guilty and excited at the same time. He was biting my neck, almost biting the flesh off, and I couldn't help it. He came into me with the light speed and I came as well a few seconds later.

That was the worst sex in my entire life. It was full of hatred from his side, that it was almost unbearable. I knew that he was mad and that I hurt him badly, but had he ever thought about _my_ feelings, when clubbing and neglecting me?!

I was thinking about that the entire night in his warm, safe embrace. I was thinking of how many people I had hurt so far, counting Seto in that pile of people, and I knew that I had to isolate myself…

…The rest of the story is familiar.

I'm thinking about this while cuddling with Teru. I'm thinking about his words. Maybe I should talk to Seto?

Nah! We talked a lot of time and that never led to any solutions. The rift between us is…eternal.

Teru is sound asleep. I can't stay in this position. It became uncomfortable. I stand up and approach to the window.

"Don't you think it's a little dangerous to approach the window? What if Kaiba sees you?" a sleepy voice asked.

"Nah!" I reply, stretching. But then my eyes notice a black limo. I remove the curtain and I see…_him_.

And I can swear that the blue eyes saw me.

"Yikes!" I scream, stepping away from the window. Teru jumps from the sofa.

"What?! What is wrong?!" he approaches me and grabs my shoulders from behind.

"The thing you said a minute ago…"

I wince when I hear the doorbell. I peek through the window, as much as I can see from the distance, and I see that the limo....is there…stopped.

I look at Teru, terrified.

"What do I do…?!"

The doorbell was persistent.

S-Seto…?

---

TBC…?


	9. The First Encounter

**Behind the Pretty Picture**

**Chapter 9: The First Encounter**

But I know that no matter what, I have to open the door and face with my past. So I do it, I head to the door, with hesitant steps. Teru says something about going into another room, for he doesn't want to bother us…

At least I think I heard him say that. I open the door and face a man who I don't recognize at first. His eyes are droopy and tired, blue flame with which his eyes once used to burn id gone, and his hair is still the way it used to be. It is still the same old Kaiba-he is the same to the others, but I know that he doesn't look normal. I wince at the sight. What has happened to him?!

Maybe these are just usual sufferings of life; and although he is very young, only two years older than me, which makes him be 21, he looks much older now. Life has never been fun to him, but still, his face always looked so fresh and young…

I have no words to say, I really have no words to say. I was busted and that is the end of that chapter in my life. He knows that I'm not in the hospital. He knows, but still, he looks so confused. I step back, letting him into the house.

"What the hell is this, Joseph?!" he attacks me immediately, not saving words or hiding his anger. "Whose whore have you become to live here?! Why aren't you in your little fortress, where you always wanted to be, huh?" he pokes me with his long index finger, frowning so dangerously. I have never seen him like that before. He's so out of his own character, it looks so awkward.

But maybe, just maybe, I should talk to this man and explain him all the things he should know, for he practically knows nothing about my life. Nothing, except that I was mutt for him, and later his boyfriend, to become one greed, disgusting alien in the end. I should have never let this all happen! I should have broken up long time ago, instead of fighting for his attention and love. I fell to the bottom because of him, and he never cared to save me…No wonder I had a breakdown in the end.

"Look, Seto…Please, come here…" I point to the living room. He tames his burning rage (he looked like an enraged bull a minute ago), and I am surprised how he's able to calm himself down and be his old self in no time. He follows me and sits on the sofa, looking at me, waiting patiently for me to explain.

---

So I did it, I explained, of how my childhood was bad, told him about Hirutani and this house I had inherited from him. He was listening carefully, nodding his head, as if revelations had hit him one by one, second after second. Maybe his points of view were changing with the incoming facts about my life.

"I see." he says in the end, but he never apologizes for telling me I was a whore. "But why didn't you tell me about all of this?"

I sigh. He dares to ask how come! How could I tell a thing, when he never looked so interested in my life?! In the beginning, yes, we were idle couple, but when the time had come for our relationship to be more serious, then he screwed everything up. He stopped caring for me.

I hesitate before I speak. The shock of being discovered by him still has its effect on me.

"At first I thought it wasn't so relevant. I thought that you might hate me because of my past, but…Later on, it seemed that you never cared to listen…As if you never cared to acknowledge my presence in your life." I'm totally honest with him, for there is nothing to hide, not under these circumstances. There are no reasons for me to hide anymore. Now, when we are finally through, I find strength to tell everything to his pretty face.

His eyes of steel are piercing through me, but I carried on talking.

"I fucked a girl, Seto. I fucked another person because you never cared to stay with me. Many nights, I was lying alone in that enormous bed, for you were who knows where…I hurt you on purpose…I hurt so many people, that I cannot even number them…So I decided to go to hospital, to be locked, to never hurt anyone again."

His eyes narrow, processing my words in this wise had of his.

"Well, that explains a lot of things." he says in a low voice.

"That's all I have to say. We're even now. We're done." I say, but I never mean that, of course. I love this man, despite the wounds he made on my body and soul. He made me fragile. He made me be human, and I owe him.

He belongs to another person now, so I suppose that me belonging to another person as well is alright. I know that, even if we end up together some time, it won't be the same.

"But tell me one thing, please…Have you ever…cheated on me?" I ask, curious to know. Now when we're nothing to each other, I hope that the truth won't hurt so much…I want his lips to be on mine…I want him inside of me. I want his soul….

Please, tell me…You owe me at least one answer…

"Does it really matter now?" he says, his voice full of resentment, I'd say. He stands up. "Now when I know that you're happy, I hope that both of us will forget the past that binds us together." he heads to the exit and I let him be, for his words…

They kept me paralyzed, causing a pang in my chest increase…Today the sky fell upon me and I feel so bad…I feel so, so…so rotten, miserable…

And just like that, everything with Seto, all the things, good and bad…everything's over. We cut the tie that was keeping us together, even when we weren't together physically…And my body aches for him…

Is he hurt, or has he found happiness with Ishizu? But still, something's out of place when I look at the front pages of various magazines that interviewed them…

And just now, I realize that Seto is still engaged. He should have been married by now. What happened…?

"Is he gone…?"

Many questions are still unanswered…

"Yeah, he is." I say, and I hear Teru says something, but I don't feel like following him.

Seto is gone…He's so close, but so far…My precious neighbor…

I run upstairs and enter my bedroom, locking the door. I find it is hard for me to breathe, my heart is about to explode, it hurts me so much, yet I can't slow its rhythm…It is the first sign of hysteria. I know. I know.

As if in fever, I sit by the window, swallowing Seto's gardens with my hungry eyes, trying to find his shape in the bushes and grass, in the statues and windows of his manor…But I cannot see a thing…

---

"_Please, big bro…I cannot take this anymore! I want for all three of us to be together…Please, agree to come and spend some time with both me and Mother…_" her voice is pleading.

I'm all alone in here; Teru went on some business trip of his.

"I'll think about it." I say, although I really want to end all that shit. I want to try and forgive my Mother. I love her, despite everything…If I love her, then I can and I will forgive her…At least I hope so. Besides, I feel a little lonely, even though I go out now, even though Teru is with me almost all the time…"Maybe I'll manage to come in a month."

I hear her cry of happiness, and then she hangs up. She's waiting for me. Both of them…And, strangely enough, I'm looking forward as well, to talking to my creator again.

---

TBC…?


	10. The Spendthrift

**AN:** I apologize if I didn't reply to some of the recent reviews, I don't have a habit doing so. But if you want to ask me something, just PM me, and, of course, after reading this and other chapters, please make sure to **review**. You all know that I love to hear your opinion.

This chapter is dedicated to all of you, my readers and reviewers. I hope you'll enjoy this! ^^

**Behind the Pretty Picture**

**Chapter 10: The Spendthrift**

"You bitch! How dare you to ask for my help, when you have given up on me?!" I screamed at my mother, as she was standing before me, entangling her fingers, begging me for some money.

"I can barely support myself! And what should I do?! To give a money to somebody who never gave me a chance to be a son?!" I was still screaming at her, and Serenity was watching the scene from one corner, her tiny body shaken by strong sobs. She was tearing apart watching us argue.

"P-please, Joey…We can…" mother was still crying.

"Do you even know that the old man is dead?! Do you know that I used to live with a tycoon? He was my only family." I lowered my head, scratching the back of it nervously. "You don't even care where your son lives, as long as he is there to give you money, you filthy piece of nothing! Why don't you find yourself a job or something?" I looked at her, eyes full of tears, shaking my head.

The pain in my chest was unstoppable. It spread throughout me, suffocating me. I couldn't cry, I didn't know why, and it was making the thing even worse. Pain wanted to exit, and my rage as well, out of me, so forcefully, that they both stuck somewhere in my throat. I couldn't stop the despair I was feeling. I could not stop offending her.

"I know that you're living now with a local rich boy. You always find a way, don't you, Joseph? You're always somebody's whore." she said through her clenched teeth.

I just shook my head, shoving some money in Serenity's shaking hands, whispering her that that money was for her, and not to give it to mother. It was hers and hers only. And she took it, slightly nodding, never stopping to cry. I could read in her eyes clearly a silent question; if I would ever come and visit her again. And I wasn't sure if I had an answer to that, if she ever asked me. But deep inside, I knew that I would come back once again, and if that time showed as an unsuccessful negotiation between me and mother, I would never come to see them again.

I came back home (if you could call that cold, enormous house a home, when there was nobody around to give you a little warmth, kind word, or a warm look), crying all the way. On my way back, I had phoned Seto, to see when he would come back from his business trip.

"Hi, Seto" I had said with the kindest voice.

"Hi" he had replied coldly. I had never told him that I was to visit my folks. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to know your exact time of arrival." I had wanted some warmth in his voice, the sign that I wasn't all alone in this stupid world. But he had given me coldness.

I lied down on the sofa, our conversation still ringing in my ears. And the sight of Serenity's wet, warm eyes never disappeared from my vision. She was one lonely girl, torn away from his older brother, who loved her more than anything in this stupid universe.

But that was the system, and, considering that I had stopped being a criminal, I had to obey it.

I heard the door, and ran to the hall, wanting to greet my lover, to feel secure. My legs were trembling from excitement. But he greeted me back with the cold kiss on my lips.

"I'm tired. I'm going to sleep. But if Kazuki calls, wake me up." Kazuki was his best friend.

I nodded, removing coat from his shoulders.

"Wanna take a shower together?" I offered. "It can relax us both." I wrapped my arms around his slim waist.

"Please, let me go." he said, half whining. "I want to sleep. I had a tough day."

"Oh, really?" I frowned. "I had it, as well, you know. I had a fight with my mother-again! And, and my sis…she was crying her heart out! And, and…" I just needed to tell someone, I just needed to share it with the one I thought that loved me. "I just need a hug, I won't bother you." I sank so low.

"Later." he said, disappearing upstairs.

I gave up. It had always been like this, for more than a year. Instead of looking forward to his coming back from business trips or coming from work, I was dying of worry. What if he went out without me? What if, what if…? So many what ifs that I had gotten one serious ulcer in my belly of all that worry. Seto had suddenly stopped leaving me out of his life.

And this was no exception. I had barely survived that ulcer, but he never stopped worrying me like this. Soon, Kazuki would call, and they would go out. The very thought that Seto could go out with his friends, with every other person who is not his own boyfriend, was aching in my chest like angina pectoris.

So I ran upstairs when Kazuki finally made a call, with such a face, as if I had become a zombie, dead serious, and handed the handset to Seto. He jumped as if his ass was set on fire.

"Hi! Yeah, yeah…You can pick me up now, and we will go somewhere…Is Imamura coming?" Imamura was his friend as well. All of them business tycoons (less powerful than Seto, of course) "Ok, we will pick him up later…Ok. C ya then!" he hung up, jumping from bed, approaching a closet.

He pulled out a towel, clean underwear, and he fished out some outfit for that night. And then he rushed to the bathroom.

If he was single, I would understand his going outs. It would be so normal. But he had me, for fuck's sake! We could go out as friends as well, since we never acknowledged our relationship to public because of discrimination. But no! Seto had his ways.

I ran into the bathroom, gripping his wrist before he managed to get into the tub.

"So, where are you guys going, huh? To fuck some girls, or boys even?!" I screamed at him. "Or maybe you are fucking each other in a filthy threesome behind my back, huh?"

"Do you even listen to yourself?! "he was enraged, screaming at me. "What the hell are you talking about?!"

"I don't see another reason you don't want to take me with you. You always go out, but never with me." I said.

He rolled his eyes.

"You again about that? How many times do I have to explain to you?! You always get mad about everything!"

"Ok then! I will go out myself!"

"Have I ever forbid you?! Go out if you want." he said and I let go of him.

I ran into the room, looking for my address book.

"Fine!"

He went out shortly after.

And I went out with my pals.

He never cared to hear how I had spent my days. And not even after I had cheated on him, did he care to learn the lesson.

You know the rest.

---

A month passed with such speed. I asked Teru to come with me and meet my folks. After the last fight with my mother, and me going to hospital, I thought that I would never see them again. But how could I say no to my sister? Teru accepted.

And, of course, everything went fine, as I expected. I wasn't mad anymore, for it seemed that my mother had changed.

I wanted to introduce Teru with my folks; no matter I didn't love him at all. I wanted to show Seto his disadvantage, he had been twice longer with me than Teru, yet Teru was the one to meet my family, and not him. I knew that his pride would be hurt, no matter he loved me or not. It was inevitable.

And it seemed so right, I said my mother I was gay, although she already knew (Tristan told her about me and Seto by accident, right before one of our last fights). And she was fine with that, obviously because Teru was rich, and she had probably heard about my inheritance somehow.

Yet I told her that she would never receive even a penny from me unless she started working. I could help her, but I never wanted to support her. Why would I, when she never did that to me? Every now and then, I would send some money to sister, without her knowing, and that was all.

And, miraculously, she agreed, telling that she had a job. I smiled, content, with Teru's arm around my shoulders, drinking coffee Serenity had made for us. It was so idyllic and soon after, we came back home.

It's been two months since then. I haven't seen Seto, despite the fact he is my neighbor. I haven't seen him since our first encounter. But he's always in my thoughts, every time I make love to Teru. He's always with me, with every breath I take.

I'm on my way to visit mum and sis again. One more turning and I will be there. They said that they moved to another location, and it is harder for me to find them, but I will, eventually.

---

But what the hell is this?! Maybe I missed the turning? Before me, it is one mansion, painted in light pink color.

I fish the phone out of my pocket, dialing Serenity's number.

"Sis, I am in front of some mansion. Are you sure you gave me the right address?"

"_Of course I'm sure, brother! Just wait there!"_ she says, and soon after, I see a teenage girl running towards me, passing the security.

"That's my brother" she says. "Let him in."

I'm in disbelief. Something is telling me this is Teru's work. I will kill him for this!

We're going through the garden, my hand in hers, the scent of roses everywhere. It is a beautiful garden with roses of all colors, white mostly. I can see several gardeners, doing their job devotedly. The entire sight is like a little paradise.

"B-but, Serenity…Who gave you this house…?"

She chuckles, turning to look at me.

"Kaiba Seto." she says, turning her head away from me, still leading me to the entrance.

But I feel as if I'm not moving at all, as if I'm frozen in time.

And the sight before me suddenly becomes ugly. This beautiful estate, all of this…is utterly disgusting to me, knowing that it is bought by that filthy money of that spendthrift Seto. He never was one, but when it came to his pals, and now this…Why, in all hells?!

Kaiba Seto…

---

TBC…?


	11. Unexpected Ally

**Behind the Pretty Picture**

**Chapter 11: Unexpected Ally**

I was so heartbroken. I will use the good old phrase now: I remember like it was yesterday…

It was 1st May, and I was in a big problem regarding a place to sleep. Seto wasn't there when I needed him most. It was very hard situation. For entire week he had been telling me how we were to spend that day together, especially because I had problems with accommodation. And he gave up on the idea in the last minute. I was left alone, to handle the shit by myself, the best I could. His pals had bought him a ticket for god knows what, to spend his time with them on the said day. And he accepted. He dropped everything, just because they wanted his company. He threw astray the fact that I was in a serious problem, not even saying he was sorry.

Sometimes, he knew to say how he had missed me (when he was away), how he couldn't wait to see me. Yes, the Kaiba Seto used to say things like that. Now, I see, he never meant them. He was such a good manipulator.

Only then did I realize how much of a jerk he was. I had been deceived for so long; I was so much blinded by love, letting him stomp on me however he pleased. I was his doormat. I was his fuck toy and nothing more.

I, who once used to be the best gang leader in Japan, a teenager, no less, prodigy among criminals; I, who used to kill people without even blinking, who used to be so cold-blooded…I cried because of him way too many times-and I was a _guy_.

When I was homeless and helpless then…he wasn't there and he had promised he'd be. Only because of his whims, everything turned bad for me again…

He bought a house for my mum and sis. Why? Is it really possible that he was hurt because I never introduced him to my family? Am I too stupid to actually believe that he cares, despite the evidences that state the opposite?

Whatever game Teru plays with me, I like it more than Seto's little schemes anyway. No matter how this ends, Teru is the one who gave me everything I expected from a lover. Most importantly, he was _there_. Even thought I know he doesn't love me, he pays attention to me; he gives me false feeling of belonging; like a drug, he creates a different reality; he provides me with the fake feeling I'm loved. And I'm endlessly grateful. Although I don't love him, not even like him, I'll stay by his side. Even if he betrays me in the end, he was the one who had given me all that Seto hadn't.

I felt so fucking abandoned then…

I snap out of my reflecting on the past, enraged.

I don't even want to see my mother; I'm deeply disappointed in her. I remember Teru's song, the one he hummed in my ear, 'The Great Disappointment'; it describes me too well for my liking; disappointments, one after another, like pearls of a very long necklace, have been following me ever since I was born. Teru knows me too well. I really _am_ a lamb.

"Since you live under _his_ roof now, then he's your family, not me." I say, my voice flat, although I'm shattering from the inside. I let go of Serenity's gentle hand, doing my best not to look broken. "You are _his_ responsibility now."

I'm leaving them, not turning back. I can hear Serenity's shouting after me, pretending it doesn't reach my earshot.

I'm all alone now…

---

There is a big difference between lovemaking and having sex. Lovemaking is something Teru and I do:

Right this moment, he does it slowly; eyes wide open, watching my reactions. He runs his fingers through my hair and touches my face in a caring way, as he is taking me to my climax step by step, without rush. I don't mind the slow rhythm. It is as if he cares. He asks, in a low voice, whether it hurts me and how much, so he could adjust his thrusts, or even stop for a while, until I feel better.

He graces me with light kisses all over my face, as if taking my virginity from me; so delicately he holds me on his chest, as I ride him when we change the pose. He caresses my sweaty thighs, and his eyes are sparkling in the dark in some kind of awe; he caresses me with his dark orbs, every inch of my body. He knows how to make me special, knows how to make the whole thing enjoyable. The better I feel, the better he feels. He is happy when he makes me happy.

He has spoiled me; I'm shedding tears now and he whispers how I'm not alone in all of this. He says it is ok to cry; crying is for humans after all. And I blindly believe him, as he takes me to my climax, _our_ mutual climax and it feels wonderful and it doesn't hurt at all. It feels wonderful to be filled by the warm fluid of his, and it feels wonderful when I find my release as well.

Sex is something I used to have with Seto: it was brutal and fast, and very painful. End of story.

But I still loved him…

---

---

---

Teru is out, and his long lost cousin, better known as Alister, is in my home. He looks at me with cunning eyes. I remember the look full of hatred they exchanged several days ago, when Teru and I went out for a walk.

"What a small world" he says. "Who would have believed I was Teru's cousin. After searching for my roots, I found _him_, no less. And there I see _you _by his side. You are everywhere." He still prefers to dress like a bimbo. Which is attractive, in a way…

"Why did you come here?" I ask, sensing that he is to say something of big importance. I simply know; his presence is some kind of omen. The anticipation suffocates me.

"I came here to try my luck with Kaiba." he runs his fingers through his hair, shifting comfortably on the sofa. "I used to think I hated him, but the truth is that I have some kind of disorder-I'm attracted to my enemy. But that's fine with me, since he doesn't shag with that Ishizu girl."

"How do _you_ know that?" I frown. He is pleased to see me uneasy.

"Is it possible that you don't know? Odion had taken all Ishizu's money by making a great fraud. She had been poor for some time. Somewhere in that period they discovered that Marik was seriously ill, and Seto offered her to become his wife in order to take his insurance. That way, she could pay for her brother's treatment."

How come Seto became so generous?!

"_You always think you are the only one with problems."_

"_What do you want to say by that?! Do you have one?"_

"_Maybe I do, but it doesn't matter."_

"_Why don't you tell me then?! Why don't you tell me, so we could discuss it?! Why have you never told me?"_

"_It doesn't matter, Joseph. Just drop it."_

I remember Seto's words. Now I know that he was hiding so many things from me. And what about Teru? Does he have something to do with all of this? I'm still in disbelief, endlessly enraged by new discoveries.

"Well, I'm off now." he says and stands up, locking our lips together for a moment-such a bizarre and gross thing to do, and exits without a word.

Tonight, I will ask Teru to marry me. This is the new test that will prove my new theory.

---

TBC...


	12. So Screwed up Situation

**Behind the Pretty Picture**

**Chapter 12: So Screwed up Situation**

I remember one time when he had to go to a business trip one week long, and told me the day before that he would come and say goodbye the next day, first thing in the morning. Even then did I know that our relationship was going nowhere, yet I had no guts to tell him that and call it quits. I thought that, if I did that, I was going to die. So I hoped that this time, he would truly come as promised (we weren't living together at that time), even for a second (as he usually did. Rarely did he stay longer than an hour), to kiss me at least. Since he didn't come that morning, I skipped work so I could come home earlier, in order for him to manage to come in the afternoon. But as the time showed 7.15 pm, I started to lose hope. Naturally, I knew what it meant, but I never allowed myself to acknowledge that.

I text messaged him, asking him when he was going, and he replied that he had already left and that he loved me (he could only write something so sentimental, yet he never said it out loud; and he usually did that when he felt that I was pissed). I was staring at the screen of my phone, unable to comprehend what I had just read, and a strange voice in my head kept telling me: "Told ya so".

My beloved had disappointed me _again_. That week we had barely seen each other. He had been absent for three weeks and came back only to stay for a week before this trip I'm talking about. That period, I counted; I had seen him only five times. Five times in ten days, each of those times for about three or less hours.

So, I stared at the screen, and then tossed the phone; tears overwhelming me all of a sudden. That was my line; I reached the bottom of all bottoms. How dared he to tell me he loved me?! If he loved me, he would manage to come for even a second. Through earthquakes, floods, through every barrier, if he loved me, he'd manage to get through and see me. Why wasting words? Why, when they had already lost their meaning?

I was crying very hard, unable to move. I bit my arm and cried for ten minutes. I was such a fool, thinking that we could surpass the crisis and move on. I was just letting him be, and he was taking me for granted. Every time.

I replied that I loved him as well. And then I tossed the phone again. I hated his replies; he was acting as if he hadn't seen in my words how much I was hurt.

Those past few days, I had been going out with my friends in order to forget my kanashimi1, I had been getting drunk almost every day. Still, it hadn't had any effect. It had been even worse; the headache afterwards, the whole thing about the hangover. It had been reminding me of how pathetic I was. At those times, I thought that life had no purpose. Not purpose regarding only love life, but life in general. I was broken when I received his message.

It reached the limit, invisible trigger inside of me; that was the last straw. I ran to the bathroom, knowing perfectly well what I was doing, and how that was pathetic and cowardly. I knew it wasn't solution at all, that I wouldn't do anything of big importance; I would soon be forgotten.

As the razor approached a pulsing vein, somebody's strong hand yanked the hand in which I was holding the said object. I looked up to see who that was, through the curtain made by my tears.

"Roland?" I recognized Seto's most reliable servant.

"I expected you would do something like that, since master wasn't able to see you." he said with the kind voice. He sat next to me on a clod bathroom floor and hugged me. I buried my face in his chest, feeling the full strength of that, always quiet and efficient man.

"He always does that…If he loved me, he would never do such tings…But I cannot leave him!" I sobbed. Just look at me. And once, I used to be a ruthless murderer. He made a mess of me. A wretch.

"Then you must love him very much." he whispered.

"…yeah" I replied. "But it's unrequited love. I'm just his marionette." I snuggled closer, and he held me tighter. "Say Roland, why did you come? Why did you save me?"

"A young life mustn't be wasted."

"I have no future. I'm nothing. I used to be somebody, but now…"

"I know." he lifted my chin and our eyes met. "But you shouldn't be wasted away just like that. You used to be a prodigy among criminals. You shouldn't waste your talent."

Roland knew everything about me. That was part of his job. But I had asked him to keep it quiet from Seto.

"It's already too late…I'm all useless now when it comes to that." it was true. His eyes were affectionate.

He caressed my cheek. I leaned into touch.

"I'm so unloved and so alone…" I muttered, knowing very well that in his eyes is a hidden love for me. But he wasn't able to be with me, nor I could cheat on Seto (I did that later, as you already know). Both of us were too loyal to that bastard.

"I'll be by your side no matter what" he whispered, holding me even tighter.

---

---

---

If Seto never loved me, how come he bought a house for my Mom and sis? It must be that his pride is hurt. Everything is so fishy. Alister's story, Seto's behavior…Even Teru has some role in all of this, and I intend to discover what is going on.

I hear the front door open and close, and I rush down the stairs to greet my lover.

"Hi" I say and place a peck on his lips. He smiles back at me.

I scratch the back of my neck, wanting to get straight to the point. He looks at me in question.

"Say Teru, what would you say if I asked you to marry me?" I look somewhere aside, not believing my own words. If he feels a thing for me, then he will go that far. If he refuses, I know that I was right all along.

"A-are you proposing me?" he asks, blinking rapidly.

"Well, kinda, yeah." he smiles.

He hesitates.

"I didn't see that coming, to be frank." his palms are sweaty.

"I thought that Teru knew everything." I say, faking hurt in my voice. "Or could it be that you're one great liar?"

"No, it's just, that you caught me off guard…"

"I know you don't love me, Teru." I'm straightforward. "I'm just your fuck toy and nothing more than that."

He grabs me and shoves his tongue inside of my mouth.

"What do you want me to say? That I love you?" he squeezes me. "What would you say if I really did, Joseph?!"

This is unexpected, but I play along. "Marry me, Teru."

He looks at me. "I will." he says. "But I know that you don't love me. You still love _him_."

I lower my head. It's true. But is it possible that Teru really loves me? His eyes are sad. Don't cry…

"It will come with time, I'm sure. I really want to be with you." You know what they say, keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. "Mary me, please…I want you by my side." I run fingers through his dark hair.

"Yes…" he whispers, burying his face in my shoulder.

---

---

---

**Some days after the engagement was acknowledged**

"Roland…" I couldn't get him out of my head for quite some time. I asked Teru if he would like to have a threesome with me and another guy. Call it my selfishness, but I wanted to hurt Seto by sleeping with his most loyal man. "Remember when you said you would stay by my side…" he affirms. "I want to sleep with you and my fiancée….Think about it, please. There are no bonds with me and Seto. You wouldn't betray him."

He accepted. With a dose of hesitation, but he still did.

---

I moan as I toss my head from left to the right, riding in Roland's lap, as his muscular arms are holding my sides tightly. My arms are wrapped around his strong neck. I can hear his pants as we go faster and faster; but he holds me carefully as if I'm a porcelain doll worth millions. Teru is watching us with a voyeuristic eye, from the dark spot in our bedroom.

Our bodies are sweaty and both men know that while doing this, I'm actually thinking of one person only; the one I still love the most. My Seto…Why won't you love me?! Why won't you hold me and be good to me? Why?

But they understand and they let me be. Just to forget the pain…I want to do everything.

My eyes are looking at one spot on the ceiling, my mouth parted a bit as I scream in pleasure, my climax making my body shake. Teru approaches me. He kisses my temple and I hear Roland's muffled moan as he comes as well. I look up at him and see his clouded eyes clearly for the first time in my life. No sunglasses.

They both lie next to me and embrace me, ready for the night's rest. They're there to comfort me.

I look somewhere in the distance, disgusted with myself. Nothing is beautiful as it appears. My mind is really sick, I realize.

---

---

---

**A month later**

I'm living at Teru's now. Not because of our engagement, but because a week after our official engagement came one agent and told me that my house is taken from me. He was babbling about some laws that let the so-and-so take my land and house.

Only later did I realize that when the agent said so-and-so, he said…Kaiba Seto.

This is war.

---

TBC…

1 Kanashimi (jap.) sadness, sorrow, grief

I know that some people don't like when an author writes some Japanese words and then explains their meaning in the footnote, just like I did now. But I just felt a strong urge to do that. So I apologize if I annoyed you by this or anything. ^^'


	13. In Seto's Bedroom

**AN:** It's been a while, hasn't it? But I really consider to drop this story...

Please make sure to **review. ** Enjoy!

**Warning:** Semi-graphic sex Site staff, please don't delete this...it's not that bad! ^^'

I apologize if there are any typing or other mistakes.

**Behind the Pretty Picture**

**Chapter 13: In Seto's Bedroom**

So this is it. First he took my family, now he took my house. It has a sentimental value, since Hirutani had been the one who had left it to me.

It is dark outside, three in the morning, I'm wearing black pants, black T-shirt, and boots, with two guns underneath my leather jacket. It's nothing special, we, murderers always wear that outfit. Well, I'm wearing it, a style which I picked up from movies I watched as a kid. I am a nineteen year old murderer, back in the business.

I know all the ways to Seto's mansion, all hidden passages that lead straight into his bedroom. So, it is decided, I will kill him, the one who stands in my way. No matter it burns me from the inside, no matter it unbearably hurts; despite my love for him, I will do it. I will kill him.

I never thought that we would end up like this. I never thought that I would go to his house to kill him in his sleep. I never, never thought that I would do such a thing. But the mind of a murderer does not register emotions; we are cold-blooded creatures, killing machines. Even if they order us to kill our own family, we won't hesitate.

The once crushed killer is back now. I'm a few meters from his bedroom, walking slowly in order not to wake up Mokie. I love that kid and it tears me apart that I will be the one to kill his beloved brother. It tears me apart, but I have to do it. Eliminate, before he does something worse to me. I need this. I need our final encounter.

I enter his room as quietly as I can. I see him sound asleep, his silhouette under the moonlight. But Ishizu isn't with him. I wonder why. I still wonder what happened with their engagement. I approach slowly, carefully. I take off my boots and straddle him, taking out one of my guns.

I point the gun right to his beautiful, peaceful face, but I still cannot shoot. Suddenly, a hand grabs my arm. I don't hesitate to drop the gun, although the grip isn't that much tight. Besides, I have another gun.

I see two eyes look at me. His sapphire eyes that I love so much are grey under the moonlight.

"You finally came." he says. I tilt my head in confusion. "I've been expecting you."

"How come?"

"We need to talk, Joseph." he says, pushing the gun which falls from the bed. He runs his fingers through my hair and I tremble. I feel fever already. The closeness of his body, his voice, his eyes...I love him, I...I cannot explain. I've never been good with words. "I see, you are Teru's sex doll." he says.

"You're wrong" I hiss. "We are engaged."

"Is that so? I wonder why." he says sarcastically. "Do you know, Joseph, that Teru wants one of my factories and that he can get it only if he kills me?" I wince. What?!

Seto pulls me closer, brushing his lips against mine. One of his hands is wandering down to my waist, pulling out my other gun. He tosses it to the floor as well. I stay still, despite that. I can't let him see my bewilderness. "Why would I believe you?"

"At first, I was astonished by the fact that he chose _you_ to be his lover...Then you told me that you used to be a good and well-known murderer....That's when I realized...And made plans."

"Plans?"

"Does it matter now, Joey? Everything we have done so far to harm each other? He used our situation against us." he says, placing a peck on my lips. I can't still my body. "I will explain everything once when I'm done with you...It's been so long since I felt you so near..."

"No!" I push him. "Tell me! I need to know!" I'm confused to no extent. Why is it me who gets into such twisted situations, into dark labyrints of our sick minds?!

"As you wish" he says in a collected tone, but I feel his nervousness, his erratic breathing beneath those sheets. I lie on my back, beside him, and he shifts so that he can press his lips against my ear. His lips are so soft and warm, and his breath comforting and pleasant.

"Joseph..." he whispers, breathing in sharply, and then exhaling. His slender fingers dance on my chest, going down, underneath my T-shirt, to make small circles on my belly. "Ever since you cheated on me, I knew. I knew that fact. And I knew that I had gone too far, but it was late. I was a bad lover, and realized it only when that happened." his fingers change the direction of caressing, clockwise this time. "But, even if I was a bad lover...that never meant that I didn't...well..." he shifts closer, placing one of his legs onto mine. His fingers are still dancing on my belly in a loving way. "Anyway, I will answer to your question that you asked me when we last met. Yes, Joey. I cheated on you. And you had all rights to cheat back, which you did."

"But only then did I realize that I was wrong. At that time, I felt so betrayed, so pissed...At that time, you told me you were sick and you wanted to go to psychiatric hospital...And I thought that it would be a good idea, to be separated for a while. Later, Ishizu told me about her problem and I got engaged with her because I wanted to hurt you."

"You escaped, later. And I saw you hooked up with Teru. So I thought, if I help your mother and sister, you would come back to me, you would be grateful I did something nice. But on the contrary, you hated me even more. You even slept with Roland...He felt so guilty, so he told me about your...threesome." he says that word in a tone that shows disgust. "So I made my ultimate move...I took your house. I pulled some strings to do so. I knew that you would come to me, to take me down. I knew, that if I did so, you would come to kill me. Just as Teru wants you to. That's why he forgave you your 'debt'."

"I found out about his background and his true intentions. My agents informed me of his intentions. He came to you with the story of 'Hirutani's debt'. Hirutani owed him nothing. He made that up, in order to blackmail you. So you became his sex doll. You became his weapon. He knew that you would be with him because of me. He used our quarrels against us by making me...well..."

"Jealous?" I ask. He just clears his throat.

"Thus, you would kill me and the factory would be his. His hands would be clean and you would be, most likely, imprisoned."

It makes sense, despite the fact that I'm still in disbelief. It fits perfectly. "What about Ishizu?" I ask.

"I haven't touched her. It appears that we don't have to get married since Alister offered to take that burden to himself. He will pay Marik's surgery."

"I don't understand..."

"He saw you that day and decided to help us."

"Oh?" I never expected such generosity from that prick. Well, wonders do happen, after all. Seto's palm is resting on my belly. He nuzzles my ear with his nose.

"We made so many mistakes. Will you let this tycoon manipulate you?" I don't know what to say. "Are you in love with him?" Seto asks. "You can kill me, but only if it is _you_ that wants my death."

"No..." I'm thinking only about getting away from this nightmare. I want it to be like before. I want to reunite with my friends, as well. "Seto..." I whisper, and he is on top of me already, removing my clothes. He has only boxers.

His lips are firmly pressed against mine, his demanding tongue easily make its way to my mouth; my own tongue waiting for his impatiently. I caress his smooth, naked back, going lower and lower, to remove his boxers. Our breathing is already uneven and discontinued, as our tongues wrestle. I feel tickling in my belly and a moan climbs up from my lungs to end in Seto's mouth. That causes him to moan as well, as he works on my belt.

I take my pants off in a hurry, happy to be naked as well, my aching arousal released, rubbing against his. We moan at the contact, melting into each other's warmth, still kissing passionately. He pulls back, attacking my neck, playing with its skin with his tongue and teeth, making me moan a bit more. He tortures my nipple with one of his hands, as I spread and lift my legs in order for him to penetrate me.

I can feel his hot head pressing against my entrance. It wouldn't be the first time to do it without any kind of lubricant. I guess we are as much sadistic as masochistic couple. We have always been addicted to pain.

His hard cock thrusts harshly, causing my lower back go numb. Seto stops in order for me to adjust, but I shake my head, looking at him straight into his eyes. There's no time for such things.

"Do...it...hard" I hiss and he obeys, thrusting violently. I pull his hair and our teeth clash, tongues touching each other here and there, saliva spreading between our mouths. We're full of lust and hunger for one another, that we've already lost our vision. I can hear him moan and I know that I scream because it hurts me, but gives me such joy that I roll my eyes at every thrust. We sure did wake poor Mokuba...

Sweat is pouring in streams down our bodies, bodies so hot as if in deepest illness, fever makes our bones hurt, as if symptoms of flu is in our systems.

Afterwards, we lie next to each other, trying to decrease the heat. It's killing us. I'm exhausted.

"What are you going to do about Teru?" Seto asks.

"Dunno...But I know that whatever I do, I'll do it myself. Do not interfere, ok?" I feel him nod. "I have to go now." I say, standing up, looking for my clothes and my guns. He follows my movements with his eyes, wordlessly.

---

TBC...?


	14. Farewell

**AN: **Sorry for waiting so long...if anybody's still reading this... Please R&R!!!

**Behind the Pretty Picture**

**Chapter 14: Farewell**

So there is a thing that popped up in my mind when I exited Seto's mansion. I have some options and theories:

!) Seto doesn't love me. It's just his pride that was hurt, and his huge ego.

2) Maybe he does love me, but if we didn't get along in the past, what guarantees us that we would get along in the future? We're even now, he'd cheated on me, me as well, now we slept together. A nice farewell. Either way, I feel I can't take it. Not again....And God knows if he was telling me the truth back then. And God knows what's really in the background...And Alister, and all of that...

3) I could've killed both him and me on the spot. I think that it would the only way we could be really together. It would be fine with me, since I'm all alone. I don't count those two bitches. But my friends (oh, God, how I miss them!)...And Seto has his little brother, so it is impossible.

Now, what about Teru? I was thinking, while walking away through the gate of Seto's estate.

1) He's a yakuza. You never know with them. So is it possible that he only uses me for his own goals, like Seto said?

2) On the other hand, he did agree to marry me. If he really wanted only to use me and get rid of me afterwards, why would he accept my ring, and everything is already arranged for our discreet wedding...? Or maybe it's just a sweet lie of his, I presume? Either way, it's too confusing.

3)..there isn't an option three here. He can fuck me how much he wants, but I don't need his shit, his love, or hatred, and his yakuza business...Hirutani was enough, and I don't want to become a criminal again.

So, to sum up, I think that I should leave them both, and start a new life in another city or prefecture. I have some money, enough that I can invite all my friends to go with me on a nice one-week holiday and part with them, but this time without disappearing like now. I don't want to hurt them anymore. I know they're angry because the doctors of the psychiatric institution 'don't let them see me'. I'll redeem myself. I'll be with them, and then I'll leave. I'll start a new life like a healthy nintenteen years old boy. I'll finish my education. I'll get a job. I know it seems too enthusiastic, but if I try, if I try really hard, I'll do it. I know I will. I'll just think of ones dear to my heart...

As I think this way, I clench my fists in determination, looking at my former mansion. "You can keep this house, Seto. That's all what will be left of me." I whisper, tears falling down in streams. I love him. My love is so desperate that I find it hard to breathe. I'm reaching for the pieces of my life and heart that aren't there, and I fall to my knees, before this mansion, my stepfather's house, my former house, place where Teru rehabilitated me...Place where...

I realize now, that Teru was my friend and enemy, and I remember those bittersweet memories...Him coming with ingredients for a cake he wanted to bake for me...He was really trying to claim my heart...I still don't know...I'm confused. I don't know if it's because he really cared...I don't want to find out. No! No...I have to erase my life. I have to start all over again. And that's what I'm about to do. Exactly that.

And if I wasn't tired of love and hatred and any form of kindness, I'd bring Roland with me...If only he weren't loyal to Seto...Roland would give me away. So I'm going alone. It will be hard; life will be merciless...but I will endure. Or at least, I will try to endure.

____

**THE END**


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